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23 février 2024

The 'Soulmate' Scam: Why Believing in 'The One' is Killing Your Love Life

Alright, lovebirds and lonely hearts, it's time for some tough love. That whole 'The One' concept? It's BS. Pure, unadulterated, romance-novel nonsense. And it's not just harmless fluff – it's actively screwing up your love life.

Yeah, I said it. Your belief in soulmates is cock-blocking you from genuine connection. How's that for a wake-up call?

Look, I get it. The idea of that perfect someone who completes you, gets all your obscure references, and never leaves the toilet seat up (or down, depending on your preference) is seductive. It's the stuff of rom-coms and pop songs. But here's the kicker – it's about as real as a unicorn's tinder profile.

Let's break this down, shall we?

First off, the math doesn't add up. With nearly 8 billion people on this rock, the odds of your 'One' conveniently living in your city, speaking your language, and swiping right on your carefully curated profile pic are astronomically low. What, you think fate's going to fly your soulmate in from Timbuktu?

Secondly, people change. That free-spirited artist you fell for in college might turn into a corporate suit by 30. Are they suddenly not 'The One' anymore? Or do you change your entire personality to match? Spoiler alert: both options suck.

But here's the real kicker – this 'One and Only' bullshit puts so much pressure on relationships that it's a wonder any survive. Every disagreement becomes a sign that "maybe they're not The One." Every quirk or flaw is magnified because 'The One' is supposed to be perfect, right?

Wrong.

Real love – the messy, complicated, beautiful kind – isn't about finding a perfect match. It's about finding someone who's willing to put in the work. Someone who chooses you, day after day, even when you're being an insufferable ass (we all have those days).

It's about growth, compromise, and sometimes, straight-up tolerance. It's realizing that your partner's habit of singing off-key in the shower is annoying as hell, but not nearly as annoying as the thought of them not being in your life.

Here's a radical idea: instead of searching for 'The One', why not try being 'The One'? Be the partner you'd want to have. Work on your own shit. Develop interests, passions, and a life that's fulfilling with or without a romantic partner.

Because here's the truth bomb – no one person can or should be your everything. That's not love, it's codependency, and it's about as sexy as a root canal.

The beauty of ditching the 'soulmate' scam is that it opens you up to appreciate people for who they are, not who you think they should be. It allows for multiple great loves in your lifetime, each unique and valuable in its own way.

Your high school sweetheart who taught you about passion? Valuable. The fling that showed you what you don't want in a partner? Also valuable. The long-term relationship that grew from friendship into deep, abiding love? You guessed it – incredibly valuable.

None of these connections are lessened because they weren't with 'The One'. They're all part of your journey, shaping you into the lovable weirdo you are today.

So, let's make a pact. Let's kill the myth of 'The One' once and for all. Let's embrace the idea that love is a choice, a series of choices made day after day. Let's celebrate the imperfect, the quirky, the real.

Because in the end, isn't a love that's chosen every day, despite the messiness of life, far more romantic than some predestined, perfectionist fantasy?

Trust me, once you let go of the 'soulmate' scam, you might just find yourself in the middle of a love story that's better than anything Hollywood could dream up. It might not be perfect, but it'll be real. And that, my friends, is worth more than a thousand 'The Ones'.

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