Let’s be real, sex is supposed to feel good. But what happens when it doesn't? For many women, pain during sex is all too common, and not enough of us talk about it. If you’ve been there, you’re definitely not alone. So, let’s break down why it happens and what you can do about it—without the shame, judgment, or awkwardness.

What’s Going On Down There?

Pain during sex, aka dyspareunia (yeah, there’s a fancy word for it), can happen for a lot of reasons. It’s not just “in your head,” and it’s definitely not something you have to push through. Sometimes, your body’s just not feeling it. Vaginal dryness, infections, or medical conditions like endometriosis can make things less than fun. And don’t forget about the role of stress, anxiety, or emotional baggage that can turn intimacy into an ouch moment.

Let’s Talk About Foreplay (Because, Yes, It’s That Important)

Ladies, let’s stop skipping the best part. A lot of us are conditioned to think that sex is all about penetration, but guess what? It’s not. If you’re rushing straight to the main event without enough warm-up, it can hurt. Your body needs time to get in the mood, and lubrication is key. If your partner isn’t putting in the effort or you're not giving yourself enough time, hit pause.

Emotional Connection Is More Important Than You Think

We can’t ignore the fact that what’s happening in your head affects what’s happening between the sheets. If you’re stressed, anxious, or just not feeling emotionally connected to your partner, your body can tense up, making sex painful. Don’t be afraid to communicate your needs. Saying “I’m not ready” or “Let’s slow it down” is absolutely okay. Trust me, a supportive partner will want you to be comfortable and enjoying every second.

When To See A Doctor

If sex is consistently painful, it’s worth talking to a doctor. Conditions like vaginismus (when your vaginal muscles involuntarily spasm) or pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) could be the culprits. And no, seeing a gynecologist isn’t embarrassing—it’s empowering. Getting answers can help you feel more in control of your body and your sex life.

Self-Love Matters, Too

At the end of the day, your body is yours to explore, cherish, and understand. Pain during sex is your body’s way of telling you something’s up, so listen to it. Whether it’s slowing things down, trying different positions, or talking to a doctor, prioritize your pleasure and comfort. After all, sex should be a joyful, pleasurable experience—one that leaves you feeling good, not sore.